An Open Letter To The Man Who Let Go

To The Man Who Let Go,

I would miss that look in your eye, that smile, your laughter and even the way you annoy me in far too many ways. There’s so much I would definitely miss. I would miss the friendship that we had. The bond that we share. The nights we would stay up late. The long talks. The tired days. The happy days. Our immature quarrels. Our plans. Our dreams together. There’s far too much I’d miss that my fingers would bleed from typing.

No words can express how much pain I feel. How much regret I have inside of me. Regret that I didn’t gave value to what we had. Regret that I failed to grow up. So many regrets. So many regrets inside I don’t know if I could contain them.

I will be fine

I promise myself not to cry, but I cry because of a handful of things. First, I cry because while I write this letter, I reminisce all of the colorful memories that we had together, all the things we had to endure to keep us together. We crumbled down to pieces, but we build them back together.

Second, I cry because I feel happy that even when you said goodbye and all, you taught me far too many things about myself that I didn’t even know. You were my best friend, and my confidant. In times when I don’t know who to run to, you were there. You would rub my back and make me feel like I can be more than I think I can.

Sorry…

Last but not the least, I cry because I thought it was for good. Sorry, would no longer be enough for you and for me.

You ask me to defend myself, but I no longer have the strength to fight because you already gave up on me – No, wait, You already gave up on US. Maybe we’d find the chance to forgive ourselves. Maybe.

But for now, I just don’t want to feel so left out. I don’t want to feel rejected. I don’t want to feel like a damaged good left for dead. You of all the people in this world know how I felt all throughout my life, and its sad that you’re also doing the same thing like everybody else did. Right now, I just want to love myself and lick the wounds until they don’t sting anymore.

When we meet again, and I know we will, I would be a far better version of myself. Thank you for all the memories. I will treasure them all and carry them with me til I ran out of breath. Thank you for the pain. I will endure it and use it to change myself.

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